Revisiting Psalm 73 - A Birthday Reflection

Surely God is good to Israel

to those who are pure in heart

God is an everlasting good God, since the day I was born, the touch of your goodness has always been seen in my life.  I know that there was never a day that You are not with me, Your love satisfied me and that is all I need.

But as for me, my feet had almost slipped; 

I had nearly lost my foothold.

For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

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There are days that my vision on You turns gloomy, like a clear blue sky camouflage in a stormy black clouds, You are holding tight on my hands but I'm pushing You to let go of me.  I tend to ask, to doubt, to still believe that your good plans for me will take place in my life.  I've seen the prosperity of other people rather than to continuously trust you with Your plans in my life.  Why they are richer, they have the relationship they all wanted, they are having the best times of their lives.  I was envious, ignorant and disheartened You with my complaints.

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When I tried to understand all this, it was oppressive for me

Till I entered the sanctuary of God, that I understood their final destiny 

Trying hard to find all the answers to Why, What If, and If Only things questions in life leads me to worry a lot, my heart becomes grieve within me. But when I look at it through heaven's eye, then I understand you have reasons for all of these.  Your Words comforted me and reminded me to be "still", still as if your saying "Hold On, I'm with you."

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When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered

I was senseless and ignorant, I was a brute beast before you.

When I'm in doubt , hopeless, faithless, sinful and bitter.  When my days becomes full of worries rather full of prayers.  When i simply don't care about reading your Words.  I was acting the exact opposite of what you want me to become.  Totally like a beast before your eyes.

Yet I am always with you, you hold me by my right hand

You guide me with your counsel and afterward you will take me into your glory

But God you never gave up on me, When I push hard to let go from your hands that holding me, You hold tighter and tighter so I wont let go.  Even though you are a aware that I'm getting hurt from your holding, you would rather choose it, so for me not to be apart from you

Whom have I in heaven but You

And earth has nothing I desire besides you

My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the

strength of my heart and my portion forever.

No one come closest to my heart only You

In Heaven and in Earth your all  that I truly need

I feel weak at times, completely doesn't want to move on

And yet you will be the only source of my strength and my joy will only be complete through You.

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But as for me, It is good to be near God, I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge, I will tell all your deeds

No matter what happen, it is still best to be near God

You remain my strong refuge

Your deeds in my life are worth declaring.